RSA
=Ralph S Aserly (AKA Random Smartass)= http://imageshack.us/a/img708/3213/linkdollphpreloadtruese.gif Name: Ralph Svyatopolk Aserly Gender: Male Age: 17, almost 18 Birthdate: September 13, 2011 Birthplace: Redford, NH Height: 6'4" Weight: 160 lbs Build: Thin and reedy Eye Color: Green Hair Color: Black and short Parents: Robert B. Aserly ("Rat Bastard") and Irene V. Aserly ("Irate Vulture") Status: Single IM Screen Name: AntiLecher Player: Grim Theme Song: Americana by The Offspring (the whole album, if you don't mind...) Appearance Ralph emanates an aura of smartass, something he tries to consciously do. He usually wears t-shirts and jeans, carries a camera case that holds a stash of popcorn, and has obnoxious green shoes (his one defining trait, appearance-wise). Pale-skinned, cropped-haired, and almost perpetually smirking, he looks like he's gonna make a smart-assed comment in response to an honest inquiry just from looking at him. His teeth are brushed white enough that it looks like a dentist would accuse him of brushing too hard. Personality Ralph has one self-given purpose in life: to break up unwanted lechery. As a result, whenever he sees such situations, he'll try to get the one passing the pick-up lines to focus on him instead of the intended target. He tends to smartass a lot, even when it may be inappropriate (e.g., smartassing his parents after failing four tests straight). However, under all of that is an honest intellectual who just sees society as a bit of a sham and wants to actually know the people who he meets instead of getting acquainted with a mask... hence his constant smartassery. Power Ralph has two powers. First off, he can pronounce symbols (as in, he would read $5 aloud as "$5", not "Five Dollars" or "Dollar Sign Five"). Secondly (and unrelatedly) he has the ability to sense what he calls "Disturbances in the Perv", or minor variations in the state of lechery. This only applies to sensing unwanted lechery and/or pervertedness, but it explains his uncanny ability to appear where someone is being hit on when they obviously don't want that kind of attention. Background Ralph was born to two hard-working, honest, upstanding, Christian individuals... at least, that's what the Aserly Parents would have you believe. Their poor, misguided, innocent baby Ralphie, by their token, is a Deviant, a Scoundrel, a Do-Nothing, a Never-Go-Anywhere, a Heathen... You name it and it's negative (and not a felony), they've probably accused him of it. In reality, Ralph has a decent job, a good group of friends, a somewhat-constructive hobby, and a slightly above average IQ (110). He's a fairly moral young man, though his morals can sometimes tread through tricky waters. He professes no faith except "Faith in humans in individual without faith in humanity as a whole", and professes what he calls the "Petey Principle: People rise to their level of morality". It's his parents who are the truly negative people; bigoted, cutthroat, sycophantic, clingy, and venom-mouthed. Due to them, Ralph began fighting back, first with sarcasm and then with smartassery. If it weren't for his love of video games, he'd probably become an ascetic, but as it is he has a minimum-wage part-time job and is happy with it. His parents held him back a year from entry into public school because they felt that having the oldest child in the class would be something to brag about. In ninth grade, out of disdain for the public school system and its conformist treatment of all students, he purposely failed all his freshman classes and was forced to repeat the grade. Despite being almost 18, he's only a sophomore, just entering tenth grade (though he could, conceivably, skip his junior year due to high intelligence; because of how the public school system has been with him, however, he's considered it a waste of time.)